When
Dennis Hassell, former artist-in-residence of Brookstone Performing
Arts learned the struggling theatre arts company he had founded could
no longer afford to keep him on staff, he recognized that Jesus was
calling him to “step out of the boat” and put his foot
“on the water.”
After 17 years of supporting his family by earning a paycheque writing,
directing and acting in plays for Toronto-based Brookstone, Hassell
was compelled to exit, stage left.
“Exiting to stage right, (the actor’s right, the audience’s
left), creates conflict, discord and is unresolved, indefinite,”
he wrote in an e-mail to friends on the eve of his final performance.
“Exiting to stage left, however, is a strong, sweeping exit;
that if not positive, is always final.”
That Hassell might view his leaving Brookstone in April as final,
“if not positive,” is not a manifestation of hurt feelings
or ill will. It is rather, simply a reflection of the pain that comes
with severing such a deep, long-lasting attachment.
“I have countless times painted that stage, repaired those risers,
focussed those lights, set up those chairs, authored that script,
acted and directed myself in it,” he explained in his email.
“I have seen audiences literally fall out of their seats laughing.
I have seen them hold their breath, tremble with tears and stand on
their chairs. I have felt God walk through the room.”
New directions
It’s a lot to leave. But Hassell agrees that every exit is also
an entry, and says he believes God takes our security blankets away
at times, to prod us to remember that our security is in Him, and
that as we cling to Him, He can take us in new directions to accomplish
more than we would have believed possible.
“A lot of things in life, which we see as cruel or unfair are
in fact God closing a door so that we can see another way,”
he says. “It’s actually grace. It may be of severe mercy,
but God’s plans are for us to prosper. So what we see as bad
news, is actually good news.” Quoting Clarence Jordan he says,
“God does not call us to successful-ness, but to faithfulness.”
Days after his final exit, Hassell is reflective as he discusses what
the future might hold.
“I think that we forget that what God is building is our character,
not our reputation,” he says. “They say that God takes
you to a point where He lets you taste despair,” he adds. “Your
vision and your dream dies, and then He moves in.”
Still, he sounds “pumped” as he shares that God has already
moved in, and is affirming him through new opportunities coming his
way. He believes he is called to tell stories that help people understand
the Kingdom of God and His presence in our world. “The vehicle
can change,” he says. “I can do that as a writer or director
or performer.”
He has established “Dennis Hassell Productions” (www.DennisHassell.com)
his own business through which he will write theatrical scripts, tour
with a repertoire of one-man shows and run faith-based, drama workshops.
Home base will be a home office. Friends and neighbours have begun
work building a 99-square-foot “writing cabin,” in his
backyard, which he calls, “Habitat for Hassell.” It will
be a haven he says, without children, telephone or the internet.
Lessons to be learned
As Hassell prepares for act two to unfold, he is still learning lessons
during the intermission.
“Letting go is probably a very common challenge for Christians
in leadership,” he says. “It’s hard to let go when
it feels like you own it, when it feels like you built it, even though
you gave it to God. But if you don’t [let go], you’re
worshipping your ministry. But the ministry is always just a vehicle
for God to do things.”
At the end of Hassell’s 330th performance in the employ of Brookstone,
God used the ministry as a vehicle to bless its founder. The audence
- not knowing it was his last performance - gave Hassell a standing
ovation. Then they requested a question-and-answer period. Hassell
complied. Sitting on the edge of the stage, he shared his own journey.
"They asked if they could pray for me," he says, a trace
of awe in his voice. “The audience came and laid hands on me
and prayed.”
It was a very different ending for the artist, but a better one he
couldn’t have imagined.
" It’s the kind of ending [in which] God says, "I
haven’t forgotten you.""
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June
10, 2005 